Hardboiled Haggerty Stops El Pulpo In Mat Massacre

Los Angeles Times – October 27, 1938
By Jack Singer

W.P.A. crews, working in shifts, last night were removing the broken body of El Pulpo, the Mexican Octopus Man, in sections and transporting said torso the glue factory where, attendants report, there is a 50-50 chance that it will be patched up again as good as new, give or take an arm.

Late last night searching parties had recovered most of Senor El Pulpo’s anatomy but there was still one leg, two ribs and a half-dozen vertebrae still missing somewhere in the vicinity of Olympic Auditorium where the victim had collided with one Hard-boiled Haggerty, a tough egg.

Hard-boiled, who has a working agreement with the boogie man to frighten little children, scrambled El Pulpo in 20m. 11s. with a backward body drop, 270 pounds of Mr. Haggerty dropping on Senor El Pulpo and El Pulpo dropping off to sleep.

Dr. Lloyd Mace, busy operating on a deck of cards at the moment in the dressing room, was hastily summoned to examine the patient and, after reading El’s gas meter, ruled that he was unable to come out for the second fall – El Pulpo, not the doctor.

With the Mexican stretched out on the floor dozing peacefully, Mons. Jacques Daro, who is not responsible for articles left after 30 days, ordered the carcass removed, a job which proved big enough for a government project.

Hard-boiled, who had his head shaved because he was disappointed he didn’t have curly hair, must have arisen on the wrong side of the bed for he didn’t treat poor El Pulpo like a brother Elk. The first move he made, just to cement friendship, was to grab the Mexican by the throat and referee Don McDonald had to send for a plumber to fix El Pulpo’s windpipe.

Hard-boiled then clutched the Latin’s legs, turned him upside down and bounced his head on the floor several times before referee McDonald, who is taking a correspondence school course in crime detection, made him desist. El Pulpo, somewhat nettled, which is just another word for dizzy, clamped on a toe hold, threatening to tear off Haggerty’s big toe and autograph it.

The Mexican then wrapped his long, wiry legs around Hard-boiled’s kitchen department and applied such terrific pressure that it must have upset some of the chinaware in the Irishman’s “pantry.” Haggerty, groaning in anguish, climbed to his feet with El Pulpo’s legs still entwined around his ample waistline and riding him like a jockey. Suddenly Hard-boiled went into a tailspin, falling backwards and landing with what is usually described as a sickening thud on top of the Octopus Man and the next thing you know they were measuring El Pulpo for a casket – Hart, Shaffner and Marx style.

Hard-boiled, tears in his eyes, seemed very upset on the fate that had befallen El Pulpo and, just to prove that he is a sweet sentimentalist after all, he stepped on the Mexican’s head as he left the ring.

Other details, which come under the heading of just good, clean fun: Killa Shikuma, the Japanese ambassador of torture, disposed of Bob Gregory, the British envoy, in 15m. 3s. with a Mikado Special, known as a choke hold to you and the Japanese Foreign Ministry. It was a jiu jitsu match but Gregory did not appear to appreciate his jacket, probably because it did not come with two pair of pants.

LaVerne Baxter, leading challenger to Ingagi, grabbed the timekeeper’s hammer but finally wound up with a lily in his hand after Vic Christy had flattened him with two rights to the jaw in 9m. 21s. Pat Fraley pinned Irish Jack Donovan in 7m. 32s. with a flying leg lock. This was a “dog-eat-dog” match, both undernourished gentlemen taking turns sinking their teeth in each other’s legs. Apparently neither have been getting enough to eat at the Daro training table.

Dapper Dave Levin disposed of Louie Miller in 9m. 46s. with a rolling headlock. Miller picked up a phone at ringside and was about to crown Mr. Levin but he hastily hung up when the operator said: “Deposit 10 cents for five minutes, please.” Ed Don George body slammed Ted Christy into submission in 8m. 38s. Tom Zaharias and Joe Campbell squirmed 20m. to a wild draw, and Tiny Roebuck pinned Otto Von Busing with a rolling arm lock. Otto was knocked blotto in 3m. 15s.

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3 responses to “Hardboiled Haggerty Stops El Pulpo In Mat Massacre

  1. Jack Singer was quite the writer. Remember Haggerty in Dream Of Kings?

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